|
|
| Hi, I'm new to this and didn't know where to put this so I'll put it in both general and meditation because I think I may need both to start feeling human again lol. This isn't a rant by the way, I'm going to give a description on how I feel and a little on my past and see if anyone can advise me in how to get back on track. It's worth a try! I'm 21 and I've been drug free for over a year now. I came from a broken home and I was quite heavily into drugs for about 4 or 5 years i.e extacy, cocaine, speed, weed and magic mushrooms. During that time I isolated myself and became very withdrawn to the point of not wanting to leave my house for months. The drugs really messed with my head and I began to suffer from depression and self esteem issues. I then read online that lsd/magic mushrooms residue could store up in fat tissue and become active at any time causing full blown trips. I knew that the bad acid trips I was having had some sort of effect on me and I began to obsess over this. I obsessed so much that I began to have flashbacks and eventually HPPD. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucinogen_persisting_perception_disorder When I first got this I litterally thought I was insane because I could see images for about 10-20 secs after I looked at them and it felt like the whole room was floating. I got brain zaps which felt like I was going to lose the plot every time they happened which was a horrible feeling. When I close my eyes (it's hard to explain) but I can see like waves or something. The symptoms are much worse if I don't get much sleep and daylight effects it alot. It's still unknown what exactly HPPD is and how to treat it. I went to my doctor about it and he told me there was no such thing and thought I was just a nutcase lol. It has gotten mildly tolerable but I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I can barely hold a conversation because there is so much going on in my mind. I haven't got a restful sleep for nearly 2 years because of it!  Even when I take a half hour nap and wake up I can feel all this pressure on my head like it's about to explode and I feel really dizzy. It's almost like my mind is unable to rest. What would you reccommend me doing? Is there anything specific to help me or am I a lost cause? Please help if you can.  |
|
| |
|
| my closest spiritual friend was a drug addict. He is pretty intense about his practises. I suppose he is using that "addictive" personality of his in a good way. He really has transformed his life.
I think a good mediation practise would be a boon for you. Start slowly 5 minutes at a time. Read some books on mediation. Sit quietly and just be aware is a good way to start. Meditation practise is the only way to become a good meditator. I can vouch for the value of just keep doing it. I can meditate for one hour at a time. It gives my mind a calm freer state for the rest of the day. I couldnt stand living with an agitated mind.
Another valueble practise is to start letting go of the constant use of electronic devices which agitate the mind. Practise feeling comfortable doing nothing. Dont turn to things that give your mind instant gratification. Do you notice they never make you feel good? |
|
| |
|
| Dear bluespirit/newbie, I have a friend who also had developed neurological issues
from drug use, especially related to his sleeping patterns, becoming irregular and
unstable...one thing he really found helpful was learning kung fu.
1. One thing I'm wondering about you is that I noticed you say that you "obsess".
It appears that when obsessed over it it made your symptoms worse, am I
right? I'm wondering, if you limited your anxious and obsessive thoughts you
would be able to also lower your symptoms of HPPD?
I actually wrote a special article on meditation and anxious thoughts that I think
may benefit you, you can download it here: http://www.stressfreesecrets.com/specialreport.pdf
2. It also sounds to me that you seem to get in a state where everything is very
chaotic. At this point you may just need to learn to slow down and meditation is great
for that. You may want to start with a simple breathing technique which will slow down
your heart rate and ease your nervous system. you can also slow down your mind by using
a binaural beat audio track which can stimulate meditative states.
all the best and G-d Bless
Josh. |
|
| |
|
| Ram & Josh - thanks for writing, I am unelmployed as a result of my condition and I think that is bringing more anxiety, and therefore leading to more severe symptoms. I need to find a job that I'm happy in to get me out of the house and reduce my problems. It's much worse when I'm anxious or depressed, although I feel it's very slowly improving by the day. I excerise and eat reasonably healthy so my body feels in good condition. It's my head that is the problem lol. I feel like it's heavey and I can't think clear enough to hold a decent conversation. I think my memory permits me from doing so because of the drugs I took, but I'm hoping that through meditation, it will improve and my mind will function better. My life is a complete mess but I'm working hard on getting back on track so I can just live a relatively normal life.
|
|
| |
Help the newbie!
