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| I've noticed all yoga teachers seem to get students coming up to them after class telling them that they are so great, so helpful, so kind, etc. I'm sure that in some cases there is truth in these compliments, but it almost seems over the top. People don't feel the same need to compliment other people who help them on a daily basis....their doctor, the check out lady at the supermarket, their hair dresser. I wonder if it has something to do with the yoga instructors...Do they seem insecure, like they need these types of excessive compliments? Do people feel sorry for them? |
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| i don't know. do you feel insecure? do you feel the need for compliments?
also, i do thank people who do wonderful things and do a wonderful job of what they do. it's really valuable an important to do so. i don't see my doctor very often, but i've always thanked my doctor when i have seen him/her, and i often write notes to various offices, etc. for example, when my husband and i got our taxes done by our accountant, when we sent him his payment for his services, we also sent a note thanking him for doing such a wonderful job and how thankful we are that we are working with him. we value him very highly.
i think it's a good thing to express gratitude when you feel it. |
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| As usual my weigh in will stir some controversy.
And obviously I'm okay with it or I wouldn't be typing right now:-)
Some compliments are sincere some are not. However, if you examine the action carefully you may find that there is always a gain sought. Sometimes it's making a friend. Sometimes it's wanting something back. Compliments are not necessary and not needed when one is connected with their soul; when we meet our own needs.
Now it's fine. I would not and do not tell students not to say what they are saying. I would simply nod and smile and say thank you. |
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| Honestly, I think it's just that yoga makes people feel great! Everyone is so stiff and stressed out and rarely take any time for themselves. So, yoga is like a great relief and they feel especially happy and good and grateful to the whole universe after a nice class.
I don't think I do anything all that special. It's the yoga, not me. All I can do is guide a series of poses, and the yoga comes alive in their own bodies. So I can't get a big head about it when people give me compliments because I know it's really not me that made them feel so great. I'm honored to have been able to participate in their practice.
On the other hand, everyone likes compliments. When people do a good job, I think that's always a good idea to tell them so! ESPECIALLY my hairdresser, she rocks and I'd look like a huge dork without her! Most people really try to do a good job and look nice, so it's fun to let them know they've succeeded. Then they feel good and maybe compliment someone else, and so on and so on. Nothing wrong with that. |
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| i'm a student, and not a teacher. and usually, i say thank you to the teacher after the session ends. you see, everytime i come to my mat, something is revealed to me, either through my own discernment or the teacher's, so i'm always happy about that. and even when it seems nothing is revealed, that is instructive for me as well. furthermore, if there is a specific enlightened moment, i will tell them(i want to share with them!) how their instruction facilitated that; and it can also serve as a time of clarification for teacher and student. i have had many teachers, and i can remember, with each pose and teacher, when the "light" changed from red or amber to green...
...and i would never leave the doctor's office without saying thank you to the doctor, the nurse, or the receptionist...i even stop to say thank you to the two people(guy and girl) who clean the bathrooms and gather the soiled clothes for laundry at my gym, because i see them on my way out most saturdays; and frankly, if they didn't provide and launder the clothes at the gym, i'd be a mess...so, go figure!
...maybe i'm just too grateful for everything...
Sav.
Edited by savasana2 2007-04-15 9:55 AM
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| Here may be a reason students are often very appreciative of the yoga experience. I referred a friend and co-worker to a studio close to her home and received this note today from the owner/teacher:
"Bruce-man, A very nice lady by the name of Julie joined us today, Saturday....she loved the class and signed up for a 20 class card...bought a mat and mat-bag. She said that she felt sooo good after class that tears welled up in her during savasana.THANK YOU so much for recommending my studio!! She said that you told her that she'd be in good hands with me.. so sweet of you!"
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Expert Yogi
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| True Bruce, people are not used to feeling as good as they do after a good (or even mediocre!) yoga class. I am Canadian so we thank people a lot. We even say thanks to the bus driver as we get off the bus.
As for people who are gushy and over complimentary, they tend not to stay that way for too long, in my experience. But for the few that do, I figure that is something they are working on and nothing to do with me. As Jean says (hi Jeannie!!!   ) I often point out that it is not me, it is the yoga and their own effort that makes the magic.  |
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| I puff and posture in a humorous way with my classes. I tell them day one that they'll love me or hate me as a yoga teacher--for some I'm their first and will be the standard they use in future yoga classes--poor kids. |
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| giving thanks and sharing an experience are not the same things as handing out a compliment. |
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Expert Yogi
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Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | Geez, what a wierd topic. How can anyone over-compliment anything these days??? I give my instructor little gifts of my honey, essential oils, jams and beeswax candles all the time. For Christmas I gave her a beautiful pink diamond necklace with matching earings. I also write thank you notes to her letting her know how much she is appreciated. I want her to feel totally Thanked. If that's over-complimentary, then I guess that's the way it shall be. She seems to enjoy my gifts and told me she cried when she opened up my Christmas gift on Christmas Day. (I gave her the gift 2 weeks before due to the Holiday break). Oh well..... |
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| Man Cyndi Loo--clone yourself and send that duplicate to me for a student! Give her the cranberry/chocolate Mountain Munchie recipe before putting her on the bus though. |
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| shalamOM - 2007-04-14 5:00 PM
I've noticed all yoga teachers seem to get students coming up to them after class telling them that they are so great, so helpful, so kind, etc. I'm sure that in some cases there is truth in these compliments, but it almost seems over the top. People don't feel the same need to compliment other people who help them on a daily basis....their doctor, the check out lady at the supermarket, their hair dresser. I wonder if it has something to do with the yoga instructors...Do they seem insecure, like they need these types of excessive compliments? Do people feel sorry for them?
Greetings,
I'm usually so glad that they have come to do yoga with me, that I have a strong affection for them all. It's particularly wonderful sharing laughing moments, which I wait to arise with anticipation. We are in the habit of reminding one another that what we're looking for is already within each of us and comes forward with love. It's a special environment that is high-minded, respectful and loving. Affirmations come easy and everyone appears grateful. Can we be like this all the time? Well, at least in yoga class.
Michael |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| There is gratitude and there is over-the-top. I think Shalamom was talking over-the-top, yes? We did discuss this some time ago, I believe. There are indeed students who feel they need the teacher to validate them so they fawn over the teacher hoping to have this returned. It is not just yoga where this happens. Some yoga styles seem to cultivate a lot of huggie/touchy/cozy stuff and I could imagine that atmosphere would breed the sort of scenario we are talking about.
Cyndi - I want a student like you! I have some nice ballroom outfits that would look splendid with pink diamonds. |
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| Hey CB: You only gave me a little wax and lots of honey. Not fair. What about all the other things?
Let us forget about 'over the top' and all. There is no such a thing as Over the Top. Everything is Under the Top (of the list of CB).
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| This is interesting. I used to compliment my teachers profusely because I was so welled up with emotion at the wonderful feelings I had after class. It was unlike anything else in my life (doctor's visit, trip to the grocery store, gas station attendant, etc.) But THEN as I got to know my studio well and the teachers and other yogis in class with me, I began to feel that perhaps I was sounding "gushy" and over-the-top, as someone said above. So I stopped! Not completely, but I tried to act more low-key. I have always wondered since this realization that I might sound insincere if the yoga teachers like the thanks I offered or not. I see here it's a mixed bag! |
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| hmmm...maybe ryan and i are just canadian.
when i thank someone for something, i'm not asking for or trying to gain anything. instead, i'm expressing my gratitude for their work, or generosity, or whatever else.
wanna hear a cool one?
today, my husband (well, i guess it's now yesterday) went out of town to a reading. he helped read a script thingy thingy dingy. i don't know what it was exactly, but he said it was a "reading." so i said, ok.
anyway, he goes to his reading, and he comes home. and at home, there is a message from his good friend Tom. Tom says "hey ryan, i was in the bookstore today and i notced that there's some new tolkien book out. so, i got it for you. i wanted you to have it before your flight to NZ."
and you know what ryan did? he said "thanks." and we talked about how wonderoulsy generous Tom is. because he's a generous man.
now, ryan had planned on buying the book later this week with a coupon and what not. but now he needn't, because of hte generosity of another. and for that generosity--and the spirit that is behind it in Tom--we are both thankful.
neither of us was interested in gain. we simply bask in the beauty of tom's generosity. i do love tom a lot.
and this also means that i have a book to read on the flight home. and ryan can buy another book he's had his eye on with the coupon.
wow, the abundance is just amazing. |
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 8442
| joanna - that is a good example of what I was saying. Many people have NO idea they can feel as wonderful as they feel after yoga. And they probably have nobody else they can discuss it with, so thanking the teacher is something they can do to help them express this. Most teachers understand this (we were new students once, too!) and are happy to hear their teaching was effective. And if they are awake and aware individuals, they also understand that it is the yoga and the student's own effort that brings these feelings. Teachers are just conduits for the teachings |
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| I am careful about what I say.
I say "thank you" to the teacher as they are usually volunteers or grossly underpaid park district staff and if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have had a yoga class.
I'll say that I enjoyed the class if I enjoyed it. I'll say it was a good class if I thought it was.
But I still say "thank you" nevertheless. |
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Expert Yogi
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Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | kulkarnn - 2007-04-15 10:16 PM Hey CB: You only gave me a little wax and lots of honey. Not fair. What about all the other things? Let us forget about 'over the top' and all. There is no such a thing as Over the Top. Everything is Under the Top (of the list of CB ). Wait a minute....I gave you my last 2 prized Blueberry Jams. Not to mention all the other Blueberry Jams I gave you. I counted several of my jelly jars in your cupboard. Wait till you get my next package, you are going to be blown away!!! Sorry its taking me so long....just remember, good things take time to prepare. I just got my shipment from out West today. Which means I'm going to be very busy this week making you something very special. Hang in there, |
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| Thanks CB. I now proud of you. I was feeling little competitive with others, as that is not part of Yoga. I am ready to also over compliment if this trend continues between us. I was wondering whether you are on the way to Blacksburg VA. We might need to go there for our daughter's college admin.
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| Yeah, I am sorry about what happened at Virginia Tech today.
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Expert Yogi
Posts: 5098
Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | NB, Actually, I am on the way to Blacksburg, Va. It's just below Roanoke. If you continue straight on Hwy 81, to the Tennessee Border, keep going until you see signs to Asheville, NC. It's not that far really, maybe another 4 hour drive from Blacksburg..maybe 5 depending on how you drive and how many stops you make. I too am very concerned about what has happened there. It is heartbreaking to see the photos and blood of this ordeal. It's hard to believe this is happening in our world. They are saying this is the worst in history, worse than Columbine. I personally do not feel safe any longer. I don't even let my daughter who is almost 15 years old out of my sight. Too many strange things happening. I am considering getting a license to carry a concealed weapon when I'm out and about. I have one here at home and I carry it with me when out hiking. |
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| Maybe this human tragedy will be motivation to renew efforts to bring the healing practice to all students everywhere, starting locally.
Michael |
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| OM shaantiH. |
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over complimentary students
