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 NEED FROM AN EXPERT YOGIModerators: Moderators Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page] | View previous thread :: View next thread |
| Wellness -> General Wellness | Message format |
abosmia |
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| I am a teenager, and I am unsure of what my problem is exactly. Let me give a bit of my background. My father passed away when I was 12, my mother went through a major depression and she occasionally ruminates. I do not have a group of friends that I spend time with. Whenever I am in a social setting, whether it be one other person or an entire crowd, my body shuts down. I lose confidence, look down, feel very insecure, and I cut off the communication with the other person. It's not that I don't like the person, I feel like I am unable to be a friend towards people. Therefore, my relationship with my girlfriend is failing because I cannot enjoy my time with her and show love and compassion towards her. I have had some suicidal thoughts, I have taken medication for two days then stopped, and I am currently seeing a psychiatrist. I think I have a low self esteem. One day I will be feeling confident, but then I always end up where I started. I have even been practicing ANAPANA for about a year. I have not shown any improvements in my behavior. If you are an experienced meditator, please enlighten me with your kind words of advise. MUCH METTA  | |||
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| Cyndi |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 5098   Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | purnayoga - 2006-10-05 7:14 PM I'm not an "expert yogi". I'd venture to say none of our board members would claim such a thing. Speak for yourself Purna...I worked hard on my typing skills to get to my "elite" position,  Arpan, Sounds to me like you could use a friend and a good therapist. Do you have a counselor at your school or in your area that you can talk to about your feelings?? I think its very important for you to sit down and have someone listen to you. Usually when a person is having low self esteem it is because they may feel like they are not important in this world, lonely, or because like you said, you don't know how to receive love or give love back and you are not consistent on the days that you do feel good about yourself. Yoga is a tool that can help you, but you got to do some work too. Having someone to confide in is very important so that you can learn how to interact with others. Breathing exercises can also be really beneficial and helpful. I would suggest after you talk to a counselor, try finding a yoga instructor that can help you learn some simple Pranayama exercises. If that is not possible, Barnes and Noble has a very nice simple yoga book by Christina Brown, called "Ten minute Yoga". For less than $10 you can get a basic book about yoga and can learn some basic asanas, meditation and pranayama exercises. I think a yoga instructor would be the best route to take and also getting help with a counselor is really important. My son, who is now 21, spent years with a counselor since he was 9 years old, just to spend time learning about himself and how to interact with his peers and family. He too grew up without a Father and was constantly in conflict with that issue. Mostly, because he did not have a Father to teach him the important life skills. The good news is that he had other role models in his life, other than his Father. He has a Grandfather that stepped in and took him under his wing when he got much older. It really helped him alot to have an person who was objective and who could help him along his journey. His counselor and Grandfather were the 2 main people who influenced him. Although, I did too, I was simply "Mom". I think you could really benefit from that as well. Finding the right person is going to be your job. I would start with the school counselor because they have outside resources available at little or no cost to you. and Arpan, Just remember, no matter what you may feel...you are loved and you are important in this world. We all have a purpose and a reason for being here. I wish you all the best in finding yourself. Don't hesitate to ask or talk to some of the members here, we've all been there too. Take care, Cyndi Edited by Cyndi 2006-10-05 9:19 PM | ||
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| kulkarnn |
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| kulkarnn |
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| Cyndi |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 5098 Location: Somewhere in the Mountains of Western NC | Arpan, Looks like you got a great prescription. As for asking about your lifestyle, that was Purna, not me requesting that information. Your life description sounds very familiar though....my son had that same schedule, I wish you the best of luck. Sounds like you are well supported in the temple, I hope your allowed to do your Vipassana course. For now, I would definitely heed Neel's advice and simply just be. From your original post, I was kinda worried. Suicide is really not a good option and you don't need to go there. If I can offer you something else....always remember, sometimes when we think our life and situation is bad, if we take a look at others, it ain't so bad afterall. We just get wrapped up in the BS and it has a way of trying to devour and consume us, if we let it. Take care, | ||
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| abosmia |
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| joscmt |
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| I used to be very nervous in social situations. I, too, had low self-esteem that hindered my interactions with others. First of all, don't be too hard on yourself- you're a teenager and most that I know (knew, including myself) had a difficulties similar to yours. Remember that suicide isn't an escape- it's a cop-out. There is always a better answer. For me, that answer didn't come until college. I was a French major and I studied abroad for a summer in France. Our teacher used only French- which was cool for us because we were in an immersion program back here in the states. BUT, to develop our listening skills, we had to listen to a tape in class, memorize it, and perform the skit in front of the whole class (with no script!) We all messed it up so bad, it was hilarious.. we all were silly up in front of the class and ended up having fun with it. That ended my fear and nervousness in front of others. Something about screwing up with a group of people eased all of our fears.... same went for a dance class I took with a friend this summer. It was bellydancing and we felt a little silly as beginners trying to learn the moves- but it wasn't just me.. we were all in the same boat.. so the whole class giggled along together- by the end, we weren't half bad! I'd back off the heavy reading and meditation just a little.... sometimes it's easy to get so bogged down in deep, spiritual, philosophical thinking that it's easy to get so serious and to forget to laugh. I always follow a heavy book with a fun novel or a stack of magazines. I call these my brain candy. Something to relax my brain a little. Check out a funny movie.. and I think Neel has some great advice there!! Hang in there and good luck! This forum is full of great people (at least, as far as I can tell!) | |||
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| tourist |
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Expert Yogi Posts: 8442    | |||
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| abosmia |
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| SCThornley |
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| A little bit that helped me through some rough spots Tough times come to pass, they don't come to stay. Life is made of little things so learn to appreciate those little things, learn to laugh the little laugh, learn to see the little smile, and the little flower, and the little birds, feed the birds, and the flower, and the smile, and the laughter--these are some of the strongest building blocks of life....Take the time to go and listen to the ocean, I still remember the sound of the rolling crashing waves, the smell of the sea air, the birds, the fishermen, the sand, the water, the bugs.....Go to the mountains and watch the weather change from afar, watch the hawks fly together playfully....Go to the market and watch people, watch their interesting little habits, they're like you and me. Sometimes you have a bad day, and that's all it is, 'a bad day', the next one can be much better, just give yourself a break and wait out the bad day, because tomorrow is another day. and it might be a better day, just a little HEY, TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR A WALK IN THE PARK, AND ON A NATURE TRAIL, AND NEXT TO A CREEK AND NEXT TO THE OCEAN AND NEXT TO THE RIVER, AND SIT UNDER A TREE WITH HER....YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK, YOU MIGHT BE BETTER OFF LISTENING.... JUST TELL HER YOU WANT TO TAKE HER ON A WALK AND GO! GRAB HER BY THE HAND AND TAKE HER WITH YOU ON A little journey and make another building block memory Edited by SCThornley 2006-10-09 10:10 PM | |||
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