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| Hello, I am a 43 year old female in pretty bad shape. I have been a drug user most of my life and am now sober, but far from happy. I am about 25 lbs overweight, I smoke, I eat too much sugar and get no exercise. I just saw the end of another disastrous long term relationship. In general, my life is pretty empty. On a positive note, I am an artist whose work also sells, and I have a great family, so it isn't all bad. But I am a loner for the most part, and am tired of my life the way it is. I also wake up sore and stiff in the morning and feel that age and lack of care is starting to show up in my body.
There is a yoga center not far from where I live and last night was my 3rd class. It is something I always wanted to try, I have heard so much good about it. Upon walking into the center for the first time it felt good and right - the aptmosphere was warm and loving, and it smelled so nice. During the first class I felt very stiff and uncoordinated but did my best. I wasn't sure what to expect and I still am not. No one made me feel as if I didn't know anything or that I was in competition with them. I know one thing, after that hour and 45 min class I got in my car and drove 20 minutes to my brothers house before I realized that I hadn't even lit up a cigarette! As any smoker will tell you, that is the first thing they do when they get in the car. The next night I went to another class. The very next morning I went out and bought my own matt, then stopped at the center to pay the monthly fee, which allows unlimited classes.
I have decided to commit myself for one month and see how I feel. So far I feel good, but sometimes I get all excited and energetic about things in the beginning so I am not sure how much of it is that. But I really want to change my life, and it has taken me quite a long time to finally start on the work that I know needs to be done, instead of expecting someone else to come along and fix me.
I would appreciate any advice or information from anyone on this forum, thanks for listening. |
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| Welcome to the forum and the world of yoga and good for you Jennifer--you've been through life and survived and recognize who you are and are prepared to change. Two big things going against you though--middle age and being an artist. Hey, no offense--just facts. Like me, even more middle-aged, it's tough to change our outlook on things--drop old habits that, though nasty, bring us comfort. Unlike me, you're an artist. I love artists (have really loved them in the past) and you're a kooky bunch--c'mon, admit it--you know it's true. You see the world differently and have a hard time committing to things. So my advice to help is find a good yoga buddy--one who's been practicing awhile. If you don't know any, get a friend interested, post on Craig's list, or here for that matter--get a conservative, right-brained bud to support you and keep you focused and committed--none there? C'mon down to Texas and I'll do it  |
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| A famous yoga teacher is very fond of saying "practise, practise and all is coming" and personally, I have always found that good advice.
Yoga is non competitive (even against yourself) and you may find that some days you'll have excellent classes and some days you won't. One of yoga's first lessons is to not attach yourself to specific results but to just go with the process. You don't need to make specific changes to your life to start yoga but many people find that by sticking with their practise, eventually their negative habits may begin to fall away.
Committing yourself to a months practise is a great start and I really respect that. You'll definately find people on this forum to support you. Follow your teacher's advice and maybe read some entry level books as well. I recommend 'Yoga Body, Buddha Mind' by Cyndi Lee or 'Bringing Yoga to Life' by Donna Farhi.
Good Luck,
Jonathon |
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| Thankyou Bruce and Johnathan.
Yes, being of the artistic temperment can seem like more of a curse sometimes - but you know, as much as I have problems with life and sometimes low self esteem, I don't think I would want to be anyone else. There are alot of women at the center, it shouldn't be hard for me to buddy up with someone. The only problem is that then I will have a commitment to that person as a friend and am then in a position where they will make demands on me for company. (going out, shopping, phone calls etc) I know it doesn't sound healthy but I am perfectly happy to shut myself away for weeks at a time with only the company of my pets and I like it. When the phone rings, I am not the kind of person who can't wait to see who it is, I generally think "OH NO, who could be bothering me now??" Possibly I could find like-minded people at my yoga classes. Or I could force myself to be more open to the human race.
Johnathan, I have only been to 4 classes, 3 different teachers, and all have been different. Some teachers focus more on the yoga itself, others go on and on with the new age stuff, some seem to be a combo of both. I am not sure which I prefer yet, it is too soon to tell, but the feel of each class has been slightly different. Being new, I am only attending level 1 classes, so they go pretty easy on us. Last night was a "restorative class" by candlelight and the teacher played a set of crystal bowls. Long poses, very peaceful. I feel fortuante to live so close to this center, I think they have a nice variety of teachers and class types. lI am going to go to Barnes and Noble and take a look at the books you suggested.
Thanks again to both of you- |
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| Your very welcome.
Jonathon |
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| Jen--exactly what I'm talking about:
"The only problem is that then I will have a commitment to that person..." then all the qualifiers setting yourself up for failure. Let that part go (easier than quitting smoking). Get a yoga only bud--nothing else and be prepared to not let it go farther...unless you are able and want to....that way you won't feel you're compromising what you perceive to be YOU or feel as if you're forcing yourself...baby steps kiddo. Oh, don't make the mistake of latching onto the teacher. They may be very open and want to help but they gots lots of folks they need to keep inspired.
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| yes, I noticed the teachers have a line of students waiting to talk to them after each class, I just say thanks and run out.
Another thing I am curious about - there are so many yoga types or styles - which is the best for beginners? Also, I don't feel as if breathing has been stressed enough in the classes I have been to - it seems the instructors think we already know what to do...are the books you mentioned, johnathan, going to have good information on that?
I tried using the search feature for threads on breathing, but it doesn't seem to be working, I get the error page
Edited by Mika 2006-10-21 5:21 PM
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| Oh Yoga, the most stable relationship I've ever had in my life.
Jennifer,
I think that you will find that a Yogasana practice can lead to so much more in the way of learning and improving and satisfaction and enjoyment and and and and and  
I learned about yoga and started a daily practice 16 years ago, for the past five years it's been extremely dedicated, including my kriyas and yogasana and pranayama.
Five years ago I stopped consuming alcohol, and all usage of tobacco....we'll leave it up to the imagination what else I've given up over the other 16 years 
If you let it, Yoga can completely transform your life like a caterpillar to a butterfly, and things can be so much more beautiful.
So glad to hear that you've started.
My BIGGEST piece of advice to you is to start a private all by yourself daily practice that is only you at your pace learning you all about you all for you taking care of you, keep going to class to learn more and apply that to your daily practice that is building you and make you the priority.
Once you take care of yourself you can do so much more for everybody else. |
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| Thanks Steve. It is interesting that all of the people in my yoga classes have been women, not a man in sight - but all the replies I have gotten to this thread have been from men.
I went to a 9am class today and this particular teacher talked constantly about breathing, which I needed. I plan on attending at least 4 classes a week and would like to try what you said, something simple I can do each morning at home. I feel very unconnected to my body when I am practicing right now, and wish there were mirrors so that I could see what I am doing. For example, the downward dog pose - I know what it is supposed to look like, but I feel like my back is rounded (even when I straighten it) and the whole thing just feels very awkward. It is hard to explain. At home I have a wall length mirrored closet so I think it may be good to use it, at least for the beginning. I don't WANT to get addicted to using mirrors, in fact, I would rather not use them at all since I want this to be about focusing within, but in the beginning I would like to at least get an idea of where my body is. Hard to believe, but I used to be a dancer, and now I feel so far removed from myself physically.
ps- Steve, nice quilt
Edited by Mika 2006-10-22 11:13 AM
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| Mika - 2006-10-22 11:11 AM
Thanks Steve. It is interesting that all of the people in my yoga classes have been women, not a man in sight - but all the replies I have gotten to this thread have been from men.
I went to a 9am class today and this particular teacher talked constantly about breathing, which I needed. I plan on attending at least 4 classes a week and would like to try what you said, something simple I can do each morning at home. I feel very unconnected to my body when I am practicing right now, and wish there were mirrors so that I could see what I am doing. For example, the downward dog pose - I know what it is supposed to look like, but I feel like my back is rounded (even when I straighten it) and the whole thing just feels very awkward. It is hard to explain. At home I have a wall length mirrored closet so I think it may be good to use it, at least for the beginning. I don't WANT to get addicted to using mirrors, in fact, I would rather not use them at all since I want this to be about focusing within, but in the beginning I would like to at least get an idea of where my body is. Hard to believe, but I used to be a dancer, and now I feel so far removed from myself physically.
ps- Steve, nice quilt
My wife is very 'crafty'.
I have paid for a private lesson with my teacher so that I could really focus on a couple asanas that I wanted to 'stick'. By getting the reinforcement from a trusted teacher I've been able to go deeper and further, but I've spent years building a foundation to know what I needed to ask.
The majority of the time I do all of my yoga by myself, but I learned so much of what I do in the beginning when I lived back in college in a house with 4 other guys and one of them was my first yoga teacher. Joe was such a good teacher, and he never held anything back and gave me more information and learning and he was just great, I still keep in touch with him.
So, what you're doing sounds fabulous.
And I still say that getting yourself to a point where you can support a daily practice for YOU is what you need to do.
Something that just feels so natural and good for you that it's like taking a shower or putting on clean clothes, or brushing your teeth.
It'll be like "Yeah I'll get to that right after my daily yogasana"
You're worth it.
Take care of yourself.
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| Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing your experience. You're quick progress is inspiring.
The good news is that takes approximately 21 days to form a new habit. So, if you can hang in for the month, it should be much easier to continue. 4 classes a week should go a long way toward developing that habit.
Of course, sticking with things can be difficult sometimes, so Bruce's idea of getting a buddy may help you. If you're clear up front that it is just for yoga, not socializing, then you can increase your chances of getting a better match.
I also agree that the daily (or almost daily) personal practice would be very helpful. It doesn't have to be long, and give yourself permission to take a day or two off on occasion.
You can develop a personal practice on your own by piecing together what you learn in a group class, but it would be much better to work one-on-one with a teacher you trust, especially if he or she will design sequences especially for you and give you practices to do on your own at home. One session should be enough to design a safe home practice, then you can go back for more sessions further tailor the practices to your needs. (How I wish I had ponied up for a few private lessons earlier in my yoga practice...)
Consider keeping a journal, even if it is keeping copies of your postings online. That way, if you become discouraged or doubtful about the benefits of what you're doing, you can read what you had to say earlier on.
Do you have a video camera? That might be a good alternative to using a mirror. Set it up on a tripod and you can watch what you're doing... after you're finished doing it. You could also ask your teacher to have a look at your down-dog.
Pamela
Yoga in Grand Junction Colorado
Viniyoga Video
Free Yoga Audio
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| Haha, Mika, once I read your response to the phone ringing, I knew I had to post. That is exactly what I think when the phone rings. Usually it's no bother, but it pierces my little bubble of insulation I have going on, and so I guess that's the bother. Congratulations on starting your new ways, thank yourself for taking care of yourself. Shelly |
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Expert Yogi
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| pamela - I recommend a journal as well, even if it is simply putting a Y on the calendar square the days you do yoga so you can see how often you practice.
shelly - call id display! It is a life and mind saver.  |
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| Hello Mika and welcome to your new life.
What advice would you like my dear? It sounds as though you are pointed properly.
Self doubt needn't creep in.
You've been drawn to something. I'm pleased it's yoga. And you will do it and experience it in your own unique way, not as any other does. It's a personal practice. A method for shifting your frame of reference about who you are to something internal rather than external.
Change and transformation are always possible. Just this past year I witness a man in his 80's who had never done yoga before begin his practice. His wife of many years had passed and he felt like he should do something to help his life and his movement abilities. How amazing.
And your tale too will have it's amazing.
Just enjoy the practce and expect this transformational work to come with speed bumps to test your resolve.
namaste my dear.
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| Mika - 2006-10-21 1:40 PM
Hello, I am a 43 year old female in pretty bad shape. I have been a drug user most of my life and am now sober, but far from happy. I am about 25 lbs overweight, I smoke, I eat too much sugar and get no exercise. I just saw the end of another disastrous long term relationship. In general, my life is pretty empty. On a positive note, I am an artist whose work also sells, and I have a great family, so it isn't all bad. But I am a loner for the most part, and am tired of my life the way it is. I also wake up sore and stiff in the morning and feel that age and lack of care is starting to show up in my body.
There is a yoga center not far from where I live and last night was my 3rd class. It is something I always wanted to try, I have heard so much good about it. Upon walking into the center for the first time it felt good and right - the aptmosphere was warm and loving, and it smelled so nice. During the first class I felt very stiff and uncoordinated but did my best. I wasn't sure what to expect and I still am not. No one made me feel as if I didn't know anything or that I was in competition with them. I know one thing, after that hour and 45 min class I got in my car and drove 20 minutes to my brothers house before I realized that I hadn't even lit up a cigarette! As any smoker will tell you, that is the first thing they do when they get in the car. The next night I went to another class. The very next morning I went out and bought my own matt, then stopped at the center to pay the monthly fee, which allows unlimited classes.
I have decided to commit myself for one month and see how I feel. So far I feel good, but sometimes I get all excited and energetic about things in the beginning so I am not sure how much of it is that. But I really want to change my life, and it has taken me quite a long time to finally start on the work that I know needs to be done, instead of expecting someone else to come along and fix me.
I would appreciate any advice or information from anyone on this forum, thanks for listening.
Advice?: Find a good teacher (ONLY one if possible) and at least 5 good Yoga Friends (good = patient, who are not too busy, and who are doing Yoga for at least 3 years). And, then spend time with these folks as much as possible. If possible, go that class each single day. And, practice what is taught. And, do not read much. |
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| Thankyou so much everyone for your support and advice.
I have started keeping a journal - I started after my boyfriend left in September. I had been crying myself to sleep everynight and then found a journal I had kept for about 6 months two years ago - as I was reading it I realized how unhappy in our relationship I was even back then and it made me realize how positive the breakup really was. So, after my first yoga class I thought it might be a good idea to keep track of my feelings and progress, especially about something good and not just a way to complain about my life. So, I have been writing a little bit after each class.
I see alot of beginners like me in the level one classes I am going to but I plan in a week or so to attend some level 1/2 classes, there I should meet some people who have been doing yoga longer than myself. Tonight's teacher was the best so far and when i get some extra money together I am going to approach her about helping me to put together a home practice, and also have her spend some time with me to get an idea of what I need.
Again, thanks so much for all the helpful advice! I hope I can follow thru with this, one day at a time is the best I can do right now, but I am feeling very positive and hopeful- and thinking that any speed bumps in my way will just make it more interesting |
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desperate to change my ways
