| i was introduced to bikram in january 2005. i did it at least once a week then, and on my own whenever i could until september. september 5 until november i did my yoga daily, faithfully. in those two months, i did 6x a week of yoga, missing only one or two classes.
i remember feeling great, feeling strong, and every wonderful sensation you could think of. that was my "career high" in yoga. my skin was really good, too, and i just had to glow.
pretty soon the holidays rolled in, i began missing a day or two and then soon more classes. i got sick twice, missing practice for several weeks. i began again this january, almost daily. and then i had to rest my back in february for two weeks because i really couldn't bend so much and i was in pain doing the standing balancing poses.
i didnt give up on bikram though. i couldn't. i really just couldn't.i still try to go four times each week.
looking back now, i've done 7 months worfth of bikram yoga and while i know i have developed strength and flexibility like i never had, im looking for results that are clearly missing.
it may seem superficial, although i'm so bothered that i don't seem to be losing weight. i have no idea how much i weigh, becauselike many of you, i base it on how i feel and how my clothes fit. while at practice i am strong and i delight over every bead of sweat that falls on my towel, when i'm back in the real world wearing normal clothes i feel bulky, boxy, and not so motivated.
i think i'm gaining instead of losing. a lot of people have commented on how my arms seem more muscular, and i'm fine with that because they've never been this toned. i do feel my jeans and trousers getting more snug on me, due to enlarged muscles in my thighs, which i dare not measure. it's hard finding a pair of non-stretch jeans that will fit me--it really bothers me. i've never been "hippy", but i think that my hips in particular are widening, as is my back. still, my stomach remains my ultimate problem--it's flatter, maybe, but it's still quite loose. i'm thinking of going on a crash diet or seeing a dietician even, just to kickstart my losing. it's really belly fat i'm worried about.
and i'm thinking, do i need to go back to my old routine of daily running just to lose this belly? do i need to go swimming, do i need to take up a new sport?
the sad thing is, i know i don't want to. i am completely sold over to bikram yoga. i look at my calves and how they're beautifully toned, i remember how i feel after every sweat session, i remember how good it is to bounce out of bed in the morning, and i attribute it all to my bikram yoga practice. i can't give it up. but i'm afraid it's not giving me what i want to have out of it.
so now i ask advice from you yogis and yoginis here...what do i do? i would love to shrink a dress size or two just like the others in the testimonial page over at bikramyoga.com. i may be doing something wrong. |
| doing any manner of cardio movement can be healthy--as long as you enjoy it. all of these processes--yoga, running, swimming whatever--should be a lot of fun.
but lets talk about bodies for a bit. there are different 'types' of bodies. in the 'greek terminology' there are ectomorphs, mesomorphs, and endomorphs. most people are combinations, but with stronger inclinations towards one type over another. Ectomorphs tend to be long and very thin. they have short muscle bellies and carry very little fat. this is the popular look among models and actresses. Mesomorphs tend to have full muscle bellies and 'average' builds. without much work, they can look strong and lean--but not skinny. Endomorphs tend to have large bone structures and large muscles that respond quickly to any sort of movement. They also have an added layer of fat--particularly on the belly--which gives their large muscles and bodies a beautiful, soft appearance (rather than looking like a sharp stick or a hard brick like the other two types).
Two people of the same height, and even of the same family, can look very different depening upon their body type. My body type is an ecto-meso, with more ecto than meso. My sister is an endo-meso with more edo than meso. we're both five ft, seven inches. I weigh 125 lbs and wear size 4. My sister weights 145 lbs and wears size 8. Both of us are fit and healthy. Both of us work out, do yoga, and have healthy diets. both of us look great. But, we look different. I'm thinner than she is, and she has softer thighs, hips, belly, and shoulders than i do. it's because of our body types.
the reason that i bring this up is because what appears to be going on with you is your natural endomorphic tendencies. honestly, besides starvation, most endomorphs will never look like ectomorphs. But you know what? that's ok. ectomorphs are fashionable now. They weren't fashionable 50 or 60 years ago. Endomorphs were. Mesomorphs rarely are, as demonstrated throughout art history. It seems that the 'extremes' are prefered in artistic expressions (portraits, modelling, etc). So, one of the things that 'we' have to let go of is trying to look fashionable or trying to look like another body type.
even with my ecto-meso tendencies, there are times when i go "ah, grass is greener for ectos' Or 'grass is greener for mesos.' i want to look different than my natural inclinations, which would take a lot of work that isn't fun, and isn't necessarily healthy either. To look more ecto, i'd have to starve myself. to look more meso, i'd have to work out more than i want to in some ways and less than i want to in other ways. to look more endo, i'd have to gain a good deal of weight, and there's no guarentee that it would go to the places where i'd want a more 'endo' look anyway.
so part of this is recognizing what you are (body-type wise) and making peace with that. And then knowing that, become the healthiest version of that that you can become. My sister could run and run and run and never loose her soft belly--it just is. it would take starvation for her to have a "six pack"--but her belly does look nice, and she is healthy. it's just not fashionable. so she shouldn't judge it by fashion standards--because those are trends that come and go. She has to like her belly for what it is; just as i have to like my belly for what it is--it's hard for me to get a 'six pack' too because of my ecto tendencies.
Does this make sense?
now lets see what's going on with you.
1. pants being tight: my husband has this problem a lot--and it happens to my sister too. you can buy jeans with bigger legs, and have the waist, etc, taken in. this is what my husband does (he's a 'body builder' so he has 'strange' or 'unusual' porportions); and now my sister does it too. it adds expense to any pants, but it does work.
you know the cause of this, of course, is increased muscle. it takes a lot for an endomorphic body to let go of fat. so, you probably have a LOT more muscle, and only a little less fat. don't measure, strong, large thighs are very sexy on men and women as far as i'm concerned.
2. "i've never been "hippy", but i think that my hips in particular are widening, as is my back."
your hips aren't widening; your waist is getting smaller. when your waist gets smaller, you get a greater waist-to-hip ratio which makes your hips look larger. this is sexy too, so don't worry about it.
as for your back widening, do you mean along the lats and shoulders? this gives you a balanced, hour-glass shape, which is also more pronounced as your waist is getting smaller. this is sexy, so don't worry about it.
recently on PBS, there have been shows about british researchers looking at human sexual attraction. they have these programs where a group of men (different backgrounds etc) would look at a mock-up of a female body on a computer screen and have to choose the proportions that they like best (hips, waist, breasts, etc). And then also facial structures. Most men chose women with a small waist and larger hips. most men picked hourglass figures. this is what has been considered beautiful amoung humans for thousands of years.
now flip to cultural studies. most of our images of women that we get now come from the fashion industry. the fashion industry is run predominently by gay men. gay men prefer male bodies, male-shaped bodies. male-shaped bodies have very light differences between waist and hips--no? and so they're choosing models that fit this notion and then we're internalizing that as how we're "supposed" to look. And yet most heterosexual men find women with waists and hips more attractive than those without them.
similarly, many of the models that are used are very young; they're not sexually mature bodies. not only are ectomorphs chosen for their waist/hip and thinness, but young ones are--ones without breasts or full hip development. so, most of us are trying to look like sexually immature girls or boys. strange, isn't it?
3. i think your best bet is to do what you love and make peace with your body. it is coming into it's own balance and health--through yoga--and doing so in it's own time. dress size doesn't matter. While i wrote above that i wear a size 4, that's my average. At some places, i might buy a size 11 or a size 8. the sizes are so variable, who cares? i wear what fits, what makes me feel good. I'm happy with my body (usually).
perhaps rather than looking for a routine, you can look for ways to accept and understand your body and treat it well. eating healthy, doing your yoga, getting plenty of rest and enjoying yourself are important for feeling good and healthy. |
| Zb hit the nail on the head (as usual).
every body is different. endo, ecto, meso, whatever.
a big part of yoga is learning to come to terms with that. to come to terms with yourself.
em, i looked at the pictures on your livejournal, and as a bonafide heterosexual male i would say that you are very attractive.
i think on some level you probably realize that yourself. its great that you're doing yoga, and looking to better yourself physically, but how about mentally?
take a look into your own mind. what is dictating your standard of beauty? what do you find attractive in both men and women? consider the difference between what is pleasing to the touch and what is pleasing to the eye.
if bikram doesn't seem to be giving you what you want, maybe try some other fitness modalities. pilates is great for developing core strength, swimming is really good, low-impact cardio, and full contact yodeling is the best full body workout on the market.
if none of that works, maybe try taking a critical look at what you want.
where would you be after you got what you want?
what next, what then?
best of luck to you.
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help! i'm not losing weight.
